If only, if only then

If only, if only then,
if only I had more followers on Instagram
maybe then I would feel worth something
if only I graduated college
maybe then I would arrive at life
if only I had more money
maybe then I would feel safe
if only my friends would hug me just a few moments longer
maybe then I would feel loved

If only I found the grand meaning
if only I can be happy
if only I found I
if only. If only then.

If only this poem had a sentence as a end
some ring of beauty
some line to leave you saying
as you finish reading it
what great of a poet I am

If only these words
held answer
a counter
maybe something to stop our stupid mind
from thought
from the chews of cud.