Rosh Hashonah

In these last few days, before ראש השנה,
I wait nervous for G-d, in fear for my honor.
I'm feeling a dread to confront my creator,
A loving father I need, not a cold harsh dictator.

Have I brought real spirit into this world?
Or do I resent this place I was whirled,
Have I examined my motives, desires,
Living all bitter till my body expires?

Can I appreciate all fifty two weeks,
Or get myself lost in constant critiques?
Impossible infinite in each very second,
'Cos I consider my guilt already pre-reckoned?

I'll just pause for a moment and look more judicious,
Can I forgive now, stop being malicious?
The voice in my head of tone constant pernicious,
Immediately submit for something ambitious

I'll tell myself

it's the All-Mighty I draw near,
And I can
Cower in shame -
Indulge in my blame -
Forget the long-game -
Confuse my true aim -

Or I can remember
It is Him I revere -
The Most Awesome to fear -
Sees beneath my veneer -
Contains heavenly sphere;

And simple prostration,
Ego's abdication,
Brief spike of surrender -
G-d. Be my defender!
(No useless pretender,)
Just love, at its most tender.

Accept my devotion
Shut off commotion
With soulful promotion
Born of real emotion

As I finally realize Your infinite power,
I gush forth with prayer not just a shower,
With utter compassion my sins You will scour,
I know You will carry me, till my final hour.